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The scoop on Odd Mom Out… Dirty Knees PLEASE!

Dear Diary,

I’ve decided this has to be a diary where I record the crazy shit I live through on a day-to-day… SO I am a mom on the UES of Manhattan… Yes we live in Midtown BUT all of the activities are Upper East Side, SO… I find myself calling myself an UES mom… FML!

Yesterday I was training to get the final fucking 15 that is now 20 and by Monday will be 25 off and after I saw a music class assembling, I actually registered for a pass so I was like hey, I’ll join them. Me and my 2 beastlings proceeded to walk over and unprepared I lay out all I have my muddy yoga mat! as the moms and nanny’s sat on their huge mats did one offer me a seat? HA!

SO my beautiful boy in his yellow pants is a crawler and wants to move so he GOES! (Its post rain on mud BTW) 5 minutes later he is COVERED in mud! Love it!!! as hes a boy and he needs to be… The crowd of angry moms and nannies watches and stares as if he was committing a fucking crime by being a muddy baby… FROM THEIR CLEAN MATS!

As he goes to visit a mat and leaves the woman uses her hand to sweep his mud… LADY YOUR IN THE PARK ON THE GRASS YOU IDIOT!

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My Beastling with his fabulous Dirty Knees!

So my yoga mat, 2 kids and sober self finished the class and went on our way to drown our troubles at Burberry…

This is not that complicated, you see a person in need, HELP… You see someone with out a blanket, OFFER… But I guess there is only room for SO MUCH UGLY on one blanket… LOL

So to the mom that is there with no mat and dirty knees APPLAUD YOURSELF! Better to show up dirty to the party than not show up at all!

SAVE ME Rose’ from the moron idiots! Drink it off I say! Just be happy your the baddest bitch in the room and DRINK IT OFF!

Other than this happy to report all is grand, I should be reporting more often BUT these beastlings are keeping me BUSY!


The Beast

One Comment

  1. My advice and from personal experience.. Stay away from the UES!!! LOL midtown moms will give you the shirts off their back!

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