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Get on the M#@!e$ F*&%$#g ROAD BABY!!! I mean babies…


So as everyone knows my boys are 11 weeks apart… Simon was 5 1/2 months and Max 3!!! We decided everyone had their shots so it was time to take our show on the road, We packed ONE… YES ONE bag, our Kinderwagon and off we went. MUCH NEEDED, we took in the sun of St. Thomas. We stayed at the Ritz Carlton, St. Thomas!!! 

Things we learned going over with The Twixons… EVEN in first class only 3 can sit in a row as there are only 3 oxygen masks… They ONLY give you 1 glass of champagne before take off even though they clearly see you with a child and thirst for booze in your eyes…

Was truly amazing getting the boys in the sun, I want to come up with some epic fucking travel advice but there really is none. Be organized. Schedule your feeding to coincide with landing so the baby is swallowing and ears popping, No Xanax or Ambien like before the babies for a 30 minute flight… Have a cocktail at the bar and breathe…

Fuck… I don’t get how I see these people struggling to get out of the house or the quintessential “I can’t even shower”… Turn the water on, put your baby in the Crib and wash that shit clean!!! I am sure your husband and kids will thank you as no one wants a stinky mom!!! Lets be real we already have given up on dressing aside from yoga pants and a bun. The least we can do is bathe, AND IF I CAN DO IT WITH 2 you best believe you’re ass better be CLEAN!

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Mommy Baby feet, Mommy foul… NEED MORE SUNBLOCK & LESS CHARDONNAY!

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AHHHHH, Happy Boys and wine for a HAPPY mommy!

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Afternoon Snooze!

I must say was amazing taking the boys this young and for me experiencing this… Be fearless and do it… AFTER YOU BATHE!

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