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Keep up with Izzy

A letter to my boys,


31 Jul 2017

Hi guys. It’s me… your over bearing, over protective, not always perfect, EXHAUSTED Mommy…

The days have gotten rougher and you both have brought challenges I was not equipped for. Please know I did the best I could with the energy I had. I gently separated you with school and listened outside the door as you cried well after the other moms & nannies had left… I kept you out of school longer than most to have you near me because I selfishly wanted you all to myself. I let you cry at night to sleep sometimes because I was so tired I became delirious. Listening to you scream for me with every call and whimper went through me as if I were being lashed and with each lash I cried s bit harder. But I knew… WE ALL NEED SLEEP!!!

I need you both to know that I am always there, outside the door… never further than a scream away. We’re having a rough patch right now boys but everything I’m doing I do it for you. I will forever be yours.

I try to love you with all I have but is it too much? Is it too little? How can I know if it’s majorly fucking you up or making you great humans??? All I know is that I was born to be your mom.

Adventures near and far, days long and short I will continue to be exhausted and be the best human I can be for you both. Life will throw us many curve balls I know. Our family dynamic will never be “conventional” but that’s what will always make us great. We’re not like everyone else boys… embrace it! Maybe that’s why I’m a touch more exhausted or a touch more sensitive or even a touch more frustrated but it’s the deal we were dealt and we’re stuck with each other.

In the days ahead I will try my hardest to keep it together… for everyone’s happiness. But never forget… No one will ever love you like your mommy!!!

Love…

Mama

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